Saper Kata Abah Tak Sayang

Last night after dinner, suddenly i had a thought on my parents. And it make me sad knowing that i dunno how long will i have them in this temporary world. But yet, as time goes, my siblings are growing apart day by day. Too many quarell, terasa hati, merajuk and the victim of course my parents since everybody want to run from bumping each other so they decided not to balik kampung even on HARI RAYA. I feel weird on why they are older than me but still they dont change. SOO EGO. Alyways feel that they are ALWAYS RIGHT. I wont elaborate here the details just want to express my feelings.

To tell my side of story now, I used to hate my father. When i was schooling i feel like abah never ever love me. I always feel like I am a burden to them. Since i am the youngest and the only one schooling. I envy all my friend's father. I retaliate and do some foolish thing. But after awhile i realise that whatever it is he is still my father and it not like you can replace it with another.

And last night, i have a flashback on my father. Even though, we dont speak much but i feel like he does love me. I remember when i was in mrsm, i left my uniform at home after the weekend and he came to muar by public bus just to send the uniform. He send me halfway by public bus when i want to go back to my hostel in muar everytime until I was brave enough to go back alone.

During my confinement, he helps me take care of my baby. He cooked dlm pantang meal. He fish for ikan haruan at the paya at belakang rumah. When I balik kampung he buys anything that i want to eat. And many2 more memory flashes in front of my eyes.

And what a shame that i used to hate this man. :( I realise now, saper kata abah tak sayang. It was me that was used to be BLIND.