Reality Check

Last week i suddenly i receive a notice on my yahoo. Somebody that i have not been spoken or see for a long long time suddenly request to add me as a contact. What a shock it is none other that my ex.

He was my bf when i was in mrsm muar. We broke up i think when i was in matric or when i was in uni. I cant remember exactly because since we start as couple when we were in form 5, we broke up and get back together for several times.

In my life i have only 2 memorable and meaningful relationship with a guy. First of course my beloved husband and second is with my ex. I donno why but even after many many years in my heart i still kept the memory and thougt about my ex. We connect is so many things but we cant keep our relationship together for what reason at first i donno why. I still remember the first break up. We just lost contact for several years. It start we an argument the both of us just kept silence and then 'lost' contact.

Then one day i accidently bump with him in my hometown and from there on we just click back together. All past argument just forgotten. Then we broke up again, after that i just can not get my mind out of him and send him i think a gongxi fa chai card as a joke then we get together again after that. After for a while we broke up again. Each time we broke up, the way our relationship ends usually when both of us just keep silence. Itis always like that.

The last argument that lead to the last break up is when i just fed up with him because usually im the one who wants to see him(at that time we were in uni.). When semester break i always want to see him, but it is me who actully beriya2 to see him. After some time i began to get fed up and we argue when at one time i want to see him but he doesnt. It ended in that phone call. I thougt he will contact me after that argument but he doesnt. I wait n wait I refuse to call him because i want to see his real feeling towards me..but he never calls.

Until I finish my studies, nobody seems right and good enough to me. Until i met my hubby now during my practical. Usually when we found somebody that is trully for u, u just know.

Back to the present, suddennly he add me in yahoo but I waited for him to message me. As usual he is the old ego im sure he waits for me to tegur him first. So what the heck i tegur him first to wish him Selamat Pengantin Baru. opps i fail to mention that he got married around the time i gave birth to my precious shakeel.

So we chat after so many2 years (I think about 9-10 years ago). The feeling is mutual. I know he still remembers me as somebody that once touches his heart. But I feel relieve just to have to be inc ontact with him again. Because all this while, I always wonder a what if situation with him. From that chat I realise he is really not the one for me. He is too ego for me an I also have my own ego. We can never be happy together forever. We do click but there are things that we just can not get a perfect understanding. I am happy now to know that i really made a right choice to marry my husband. He is really the one that really suits me. It make me fall all over again with my hubby. I thank GOD for this. Really thankful..Syukurr. Now, I can say that without a doubt I wish him a happy good life. Sayonara to 'us' and we can be really just friends.

P/s: My treasure..